One-shots in Darcy's POV
by atidsoptimist
Summary: Feel the angst and hidden thoughts of Darcy in this P&P remix. Thanks for giving my first fanfic a chance and tolerating my bad Regency-speke!
1. Chapter 1

{Before Chapter 34 of the P&P book}

"They certainly have taken their time to come over..." I heard my aunt's mutterings as the clippity-clop of carriage horses drifted into the windows of Hunsford.

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum. Why am I so nervous?

"Wake up, Darcy!" My dear cousin slapped my back and rushed to the door.

Why was he so excited? Blast, could it be? Could it be possible that he also covets my Elizabeth? Nay, Fitzwilliam does not have my advantage of wealth. It cannot be.

Unwilling to risk any chances, I shot up from my seat and stomped beside Fitzwilliam.

"Darcy, you finally decided to honour our guests with your presence!" Fitzwilliam grinned cheekily. I rolled my eyes but a dark thought popped into my mind. What if Elizabeth favours Fitzwilliam because of their shared impertinence? Darcy, stop this negativity at once!

The door swung open and our guests entered the room. Blocking out the pleasantries Mr Collins was blabbering, I did a mental headcount.

Where is Elizabeth? Why is she not present? Did no one else notice it?

Interrupting Mr Collins' continuous praise of the Hunsford estate, I addressed Mrs Collins in a sharper tone than I had intended.

"Is Elizabeth not joining us for dinner tonight?"

Blast, I addressed her in her Christian name! What would Mrs Collins think? Mrs Collins explained with apparent surprise, "Elizabeth is not feeling well this evening so she is-"

Elizabeth is sick? I must tend to her right away! Not that I have any medical knowledge but I can always try!

"My coat, please." I signalled to the nearest servant who returned within seconds.

"Darcy, you cannot be serious! Leaving the dinner table for her is simply ridiculous! I command you to be seated immediately!" My aunt rose noisily and her voice boomed across the room.

I have never been serious about anything else in my life. The room was in perfect silence. Even Fitzwilliam, who was itching to make a suggestive comment or laugh, I am sure, held his tongue. Is this your attempt at stopping me? How pathetic.

I narrowed my eyes at my aunt before replying, "Have you not always educate us to be responsible hosts? I believe this is the most suitable opportunity to put your teaching into practice. Please begin dinner without me." With everyone open-mouthed and my aunt flaring with indignation, I slipped out of the door without hesitation.

•~•

I never ran so fast in my life. I reached the door of the parsonage, heart rate escalating. Darcy, you are outside the door. Now open it!

This was a rash and bad decision. Too late to regret now! You are already here, just do it!

Sucking in a big breath, I knocked and pushed the door opened hesitantly. What met my eyes was the greatest relief in my life. Elizabeth was not sick at all! In fact, she looked as pretty as ever. I mean, as well as ever.

How does the flush on her cheeks manage to bewitch me so?

"Eliza-, I mean Miss Elizabeth, are you well?" I forced my brain to construct a sentence. Deep breaths, Darcy, deep breaths.

"I have come in hopes of your speedy recovery." Yes, 9 words without a stammer! A new record!

"Yes, Sir, I am well. Thank you for your concern." Elizabeth replied stiffly and turned away. Is she alright? Why does she look so pallid?

Is this not the perfect opportunity to propose? It will definitely cheer her up again! Darcy, this is the most important moment of your life. Do not mess it up.

Blast, what am I doing, walking around the room like an awkward fool? Lord bless me, I am going to do it!

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." I blurted out everything in a single breath. Elizabeth's fine eyes widened. She blushed but remained silent.

She wants me to continue, right?

"My dear Elizabeth, ever since I had the honour of making your acquaintance, I have felt nothing but admiration for you. Your wit and elegance have endeavoured my feelings to grow stronger over time. I repeatedly reminded myself of your low connections and vulgar family yet my feelings are still unable to be repressed. I tried my very best to forget your beautiful eyes with the reality that your inferiority should not be recommending yourself to me."

Was that guilt? Or anger? What is she thinking about? I was slightly confused but could not bring myself to stop my avowal.

"But alas, all my efforts were in vain. I had found it impossible to overcome my strong feelings towards you and I sincerely wish for your acceptance which I believe I am deserving to be rewarded with." I poured the contents of my heart out and laid it naked in front of Elizabeth.

Elizabeth took a deep breath before she said, "In such cases as this, it is, I believe, the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiment avowed, however unequally they may be returned." However unequally they may be returned? What does she mean by that?

"It is natural that obligation should be felt, and if I could feel gratitude, I would now thank you. But I cannot-I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it more unwillingly." But-but I was never unwilling to have favoured you! I was just oblivious...

"I am sorry to have occasioned pain to anyone. It has been most unconsciously done, however, and I hope will be of short duration. The feelings which, you tell me have long prevented the acknowledgement of your regard, can have little difficulty in overcoming it after this explanation."

Occasioned pain? I will never propose to anyone ever again. How can you think that I will forget these ardent feelings so easily? I just told you how I painstakingly tried to ignore my emotions unsuccessfully and yet you rejected me so blatantly? I did not know which one I felt more: resentment or surprise or sorrow. I opened my mouth to retort but my breath hitched in my throat.

Calm down, do not say anything that you will regret later, Darcy. Even if it is to the only woman in town who would decline your proposal. Regaining my composure, I replied indignantly, "And this is all the reply which I am to have the honour of expecting! I might, perhaps, wish to be informed why, with so little endeavour at civility, I am thus rejected. But it is of small importance." Small importance? Who are you fooling, Darcy? I want nothing but to know why she would take my heart away and smash it into a million pieces.

Elizabeth started speaking again but I was getting sucked in a hole of despair. Why does nothing ever go right in my life? First Georgiana and that Ramsgate incident, now this rejection by the only woman I would ever consider marrying. Lord, is this my retribution for not being a dutiful brother? Or is it because I ruined the relationship of one so I will never find true love?

"-has been the means of ruining, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved sister?" I snapped back to reality.

Blast, no wonder she hates me for separating Miss Bennet from Bingley. My face turns slightly crimson at being called out for my act of 'crime'.

I was indeed guilty of such, I must admit. But it is not without reason! As pretty as Miss Bennet is, I was certainly not going to let Bingley marry without affection! I do not see any fault in my actions so I am not going to let you guilt-trip me, Elizabeth. I did not deny my act of separation and told her so, but not without suggesting that I should have done it for myself as well. Then suddenly she mentions Wickham!

That son of a gun! Why is he appearing in my life again? Elizabeth proceeds to drone on about how I was basically the bane of Wickham's existence. You do not even know how opposing that statement is.

How could she believe Wickham? I thought you were smarter than that, Elizabeth…

Exasperated, I retorted back, "Perhaps, if your pride had not been hurt by my mention of your vulgar family, you might have been more gracious to forgive these offences. However, I will not delude myself from the fact of your relations and I will certainly not flatter you for your hand. Can you expect me to feel elation from binding and degrading myself to lower connections and lower condition of life?" If she managed to calm down just now, she was definitely raging again. Determined to hurt me as much as I did, she elaborated on her passionate hatred towards me.

"-I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry." Ouch, that stung. I cannot take this anymore. I have to leave before I break down into a puddle of tears. Mumbling words of apologies, I hastily left the room and fled like a dog with my tail between my legs.

That went very well. Amazing! Wonderful! Encore! … Why am I such a failure in life?

I wanted to scream and throw a tantrum there and then outside the parsonage. Who cares about propriety? The only one whose opinion I care about finds me disgusting. Without Elizabeth, this life is not worth living anymore.  
  
 **A/N: Anything you recognise in my story is from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I cannot pretend to be as well-versed in the Regency language as her.** **Don't** **forget to review and follow if you enjoyed this chapter, thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

{Before Chapter 43 of the P&P book}

My patience is running thin.

Caroline has been doing nothing but praising Pemberley continuously. Woman, do you think loving my house will make me love you? Please take a hint and leave me alone!

As for Bingley, I only have myself to blame for his sorry state. After all, I was the stupid one who separated him from the love of his life as if I am some experienced matchmaker. I got what I deserved anyway. By breaking a happy couple up, my own love life which could have blossomed into something will forever remain nonexistent.

Bingley has always been the one to cheer me up despite his annoying sisters but now with even Bingley feeling down, I feel like I am spiralling down into a hole of despair where life means nothing anymore. Perhaps returning to my beloved mansion a day early will calm my nerves a bit. I shall tell Bingley and Georgie of my plan to leave tomorrow after breakfast.

Bingley barely even blinked at my decision to leave early and remained slumped in his chair, looking wistfully out of the window. I know brother, you can wish that she will appear outside the window as much as you want, but it can never ever happen. I already gave up on women and chose to seek solace in the world of literature. Sometimes books are the only thing you can rely on to provide comfort and serenity amidst all the things you messed up in your life. Georgie was evidently desperate to leave with me, but she was unable to escape the clutches of Caroline who wanted to "spend time playing a duet with her". Sorry, Georgie, I shall see you in a day's time.

Stop screaming, Caroline! I really wanted to yield to the temptation of smacking her right there. This is really tempting, knowing that Bingley wouldn't even flinch at the sound.

Were you not trying to be a gentleman ever since you know what happened? Blast, she was really right about me, was she not? Forget it, the past is in the past and it will forever remain as the past.

•~•

Having breakfast alone was satisfyingly peaceful. Call me spoilt but I had requested for an early breakfast to escape the company of others. I blessed Bingley with a prayer for his sanity before breaking fast. I sipped on my heavenly Earl Grey and grabbed one of the bath cakes [1] recommended by the house chef.

"These are the most popular breakfast pastry and Sir, you must absolutely try one of my hot steaming buns." The elderly lady had chirped as she introduced the various pastries to me. Mmm, this is so delicious! The warm butter engulfed by the fluffy yeast melted on my tongue and burst into flavours. The caraway comfits also add a nice crunch to the soft texture of the bun.

Hmm, there are four left. Very tempting to gobble them now, but I decided to save them for later. After two more slices of bread with cheese, I stood up and got ready to leave. My trusty steward was already waiting for me at the stable and with a grateful bow, I slapped on the reins and started on my road to freedom.

•~•

"Good boy. Here you go." I patted my beautiful horse and hopped on the saddle before feeding him a fresh carrot always available in my own stable. As he munched noisily, I strung up the reins and proceeded on the road back to my home sweet home. As the view of the majestic Pemberley came into view, I could not help but feel a sense of pride swell up in my chest and let out a happy sigh.

As I got nearer, I heard some unfamiliar voices who were discussing my house. I was puzzled to the identity of these unannounced guests and quickly rounded the bend only to see Elizabeth.

Elizabeth. In the flesh. Dark eyes. Wavy hair.

Am I dreaming?

While I stood there wide-eyed gaping at her, all the bandages I had wrapped around my past wounds instantly fell off and fresh blood gushed out once again. Recalling that profound proposal of mine, I was overcome by horrid embarrassment and regret. I was shocked to see that Elizabeth was also looking back at me with the same shade of red on her cheeks. Determined to make a good impression, I strode towards her with my heart pounding furiously and greeted her with a quavering voice.

Calling that moment awkward was an understatement. I tried to make small talk which I could not and she mostly kept her head bowed. Is she still so disgusted by me that she refuses to even make eye contact? You would think I should be used to the pain by now.

I was acting like Mr Collins, blabbering out inquiries of her familiar and her stay in Derbyshire in a rushed manner. Slow down, why are you speaking so fast, Darcy! After asking about everything under the sun, we stood there for a few painful moments before I quickly bowed and flew back to the house shamefully.

"Master Darcy, you are back early! I just-" Mrs Reynolds started as I entered through the door. Ignoring her, I went straight up to my room and collapsed on my bed. Forget estate management and combat skills, what I really need are social skills on how to interact with human beings!

Blast, I forgot to ask her why she was here. Not that I mind her presence, but I was curious and slightly hopeful. Stop dreaming, Darcy! She already made her sediments clear and knowing how stubborn she is, she would never change her mind about my proposal. The only thing I can do now is to be a good host and present to her the most gentlemanly side of me and pray that one day she would not hate me anymore.

[1]: I was researching on the type of breakfast enjoyed during the Regency period since the book was extremely informative on that subject and came across this cool blog featuring bath cakes! If any of you are interested in making them, the recipe is also included on the website. Retrieved 2 September 2018 from  . /blogs/beyond-reading-room/dining-jane-austen-1-breakfast-georgian-england

 **A/N: Sorry for making y'all wait so long! I was busy with homework but I finally got the chance to write a short chapter phew.** **Don't** **forget** **to review and follow if you enjoyed this chapter, thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3

{Before Chapter 3 of the P&P book}

"Darcy!" I looked up from my letter only to see a very excited Bingley striding towards me. I stood up immediately, pleased to see my close friend again but before any of the common pleasantries were made, Bingley exclaimed, "Darcy, I just returned from visiting Netherfield Park and I have decided upon it!"

"Where is Netherfield Park?" I had never heard of that place before.

"Darcy, have you not read my letter? I have been in search of a new estate to lease and Netherfield has satisfied me greatly. The estate, though inhabited for quite a while, still remains in good condition and I wish for nothing but to move it immediately!" Bingley's enthusiasm was not deterred by my ignorance.

"I see, do you require my assistance?" I had rather missed Bingley's spirit since the last Christmas, I must admit. Bingley is one of the very few acquaintances in my life whom I have no qualms with. The only disadvantage of such a friend was the existence of his sisters. Especially one who is still pitifully single and shamelessly flirtatious. But alas, the sacrifice is worth the friendship of Bingley.

"Nay, I do not suppose so. However, I do have a small favour to ask for…" Bingley averted his eyes and rubbed his neck. Damn, it must be something related to socialising. If it was just a borrowing of money, I would instead be more willing to accept. Knowing Bingley and his affinity for society, I begrudgingly nodded and braced myself for the worse.

"An invitation to attend the Meryton assembly tonight has been extended to the whole of our party. I understand that you do not find pleasure in balls but I would appreciate if you could join us..." Bingley enunciated his words hesitantly and gave me a hopeful look. How could I say no to that face? I sighed and agreed. Pleased to have convinced me, Bingley started describing the vast number of new acquaintances we would meet at the ball...

I zoned out soon enough and thought of how Georgie would cope without my close guidance. After that horrific episode, I was very content to skip all social events and stay in the shelter of my house with Georgie, enjoying her playing on the pianoforte or curling up with a thick book in my library. But it was too late to worry about her now, I have already given my word to Bingley. I just hope that Miss Annesley would not betray my trust as Mrs Younge did back then.

•~•

I almost forgot how much balls drive me crazy after my long absence in society. Dancing bodies and overly-boisterous conversation. I already felt a headache coming on as I stepped down from Bingley's carriage. Caroline shoved her sister aside and flashed a sultry smile at me as she clutched my hand to descend the carriage. Tonight is going to be a long, dreary night, I dare say.

When the doors were opened for us, a hush suddenly fell over the crowd and everyone stared in awe as our party entered the ballroom. Bingley's radiant smile reflected on everyone despite the unfamiliarity. Caroline scanned the crowd with an appraising look while Louisa smiled shyly with Mr Hurst barely concealing a yawn beside her.

My reaction was the best of all, I dare say. The stolid look in my eyes hid an impending storm, having brewed from my indignance at being dragged here. After a few moments of silence, an elderly balding man stepped forward and greeted us. As he exchanged pleasantries, we were once again engulfed by chatter and laughing as the jolly dance resumed. The man, whom I understood to be Sir William Lucas, clasped Bingley's hands and welcomed him sincerely to mingle with the company at present. I briefly nodded at Sir William as he bowed deeply to each and every one of us.

"Sir William! Would you be so kind as to introduce this gentleman to us?" A woman with frizzy brown hair cried from behind us as she nudged five younger girls around her forward. Sir William introduced both parties to each other and names were quickly exchanged.

"Miss Bennet, will you do me the honour of the next dance?" Bingley asked one of the daughters, a tall, fair-skinned lady. She accepted with mild surprise as her mother watched on in glee. Off went Bingley and the girl to the centre of the ballroom. The woman turned towards me, perhaps to ask me if I was interested to dance with any of her daughters but the dark look on my face successfully deterred her from doing so.

"...ten thousand a year! Can you believe it?"

"It is rare for such a handsome gentleman to visit our town, I dare say. I must introduce my daughter to him..."

"I heard that he has a large estate in Derbyshire! Would it not be good if our daughters could be well-settled there, dear?"

"Richer and more handsome than Mr Bingley, I must admit..."

Snippets of conversation buzzed around my ears. Every new town I visit with Bingley is exactly the same. I had no expectations that Hertfordshire would be any different of course. These country bumpkins only care for wealthy, handsome bachelors to marry their daughters off, leaving me extremely vulnerable in terms of both aspects.

Walking around the room and purely observing the crowd dispels some of my insecurities and trepidation as I continued to keep up with my haughty facade. When engaged in conversation, I reply with the barest of civilities or a movement of my head. I paid my obligation by dancing with the ladies of my party and paid absolutely no attention to the rest of the company at present. What do you think of me now? No caring mother would encourage her daughters to pursue such a disagreeable man like myself, I dare say.

My method of self-preservation worked as I reckoned it would. Now the tables are turned against me.

"That Mr Darcy is awfully arrogant! Such a repulsive man!"

"Indeed did he even dance with any of our girls?"

"He thinks he is too good for all of us, how rude..."

"Pompous man! Who cares about his ten thousand anymore?"

Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me. I thought I had already gotten used to such remarks and even prided myself on mastering the art of concealing my emotions. Yet no matter how arrogant I may seem to be, I can never bury my heart deep within. Alas, who am I to complain? This pain was intentionally brought upon myself but it is infinitely better than being forced to socialise with immature girls and entertain their mothers.

It seems that Louisa and Mr Hurst had proceeded to dance a few balls during my reverie. Silently congratulating myself for surviving the dance with Caroline, I felt rather worn-out already despite not talking or dancing much. Is a glass of brandy worth the trouble of approaching the waiter? Yes, I need my liberation.

As I was sipping my glass of brandy, Bingley suddenly appeared in front of me. I was seriously wrong for supposing that the grin on Bingley's face when we joined the party could not get bigger. His face was glowing with exuberance as he cried, "Come, Darcy! I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance."

"I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this, it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with." Dancing with your sisters is also a punishment for me, I must admit, Bingley.

"I would not be so fastidious as you are," cried Bingley, "for a kingdom! Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty." How can I make this incessant nagging stop?

"You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room." I looked at his partner, the same fair lady, Miss Bennet if I recalled correctly. There, I praised your choice of a partner, are you satisfied now, Bingley? My head is throbbing badly. Maybe that brandy was not such a good idea.

"Oh! She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you." Bingley gestured eagerly behind me.

"Which do you mean?" Humouring Bingley before declining him would be most effective in convincing him to leave me alone, I hope. Thus, I rolled my eyes and turned round unwillingly to look at the "very pretty and very agreeable" sister of Miss Bennet. I caught her eye only for a moment before addressing Bingley again.

"She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me. I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me." This conversation is over, Bingley. Please leave me to seek solace now. Bingley returned to his partner in defeat, but it was not long before he recovered his happy disposition.

Finally, some peace and quiet! My eyelids were drooping and perhaps a bit of movement would help me regain my senses again. I walked around the ballroom, albeit slightly wobbly until it was time for our party to leave. I was seething for the rest of the night until I could enjoy the warmness of my shower and the comfort of my bed.

 **A/N: Chapter 3 onwards are following the same flow as the book. The first two were one-shots but I will rearrange them once I get closer to those chapters. Don't forget to review and follow if you enjoyed this chapter, thank you!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Darcy, are you ready to leave?" Bingley could not hide the excitement in his voice as he knocked on my door.

"Yes, yes, just let me put on this insufferable cravat," I muttered.. After a good couple minutes of tying my cravat without my valet, I left the room and boarded the carriage awaiting us outside the house.

Guess where we are going to? Yes, it is another party with the rowdy Meryton bunch. Sir William sent us an invitation a week after the Meryton Assembly and even offered a carriage to fetch us over. A bit too enthusiastic if you ask me, but as long as Bingley is happy, then I shall not object.

On the way there, Bingley was jumping in his seat and talking about dancing with Jane again. Note the usage of Miss Bennet's Christian name. I then recalled my first horrid words about her tolerable sister and felt a stab of guilt. That night, on the way back to Netherfield, Bingley expressed his disapproval of my ill disposition at the party. I was so sick and tired of the disgusting crowd that I had lost my temper at him. Poor Bingley, he deserves a better friend than me.

"Darcy, you were uncommonly rude at tonight's assembly, especially what you said about Miss Elizabeth Bennet. I know you do not enjoy society but you should not slight a woman whom you have yet to meet-" Bingley began as the carriage started moving.

"Bingley, I do not care about the people of Meryton! They only welcomed me because of my ten thousand pounds a year! Without my wealth, they would not have given me a second look at all!" I snapped. Enough is enough.

Bingley sighed and lowered his head sadly. I feel sorry for Bingley, I really do. How he managed to tolerate my temper is beyond me sometimes.

"I am very sorry, Bingley. That was uncalled for. I got weary from the crowd present at the assembly and wanted to take a break. I am sorry if I had caused you any inconvenience or distress." I mumbled, soaking up the ill effects of my horrid mood. I did not want to hurt my friend's feeling over this trivial matter of the ball.

"I forgive you, Darcy. After all, I am used to your outbursts already." Bingley gave me an understanding smile mixed with melancholy.

"May I ask you something regarding the ball, Darcy, if it does not agitate you too much?"

"Yes, anything. Nay, it depends on your request..."

"I just wanted to ask for your opinion and hopefully approval of a certain lady..." Bingley chuckled and lowered his voice. I could deduce but two motives of him doing so. It was either to prevent awaking Caroline, who was snoring softly beside him or to prevent her from overhearing what he was about to ask me. I guessed that it was the latter at the sudden blush on Bingley's face and leaned forward with curiosity.

"What do you think of Miss Jane Bennet? The eldest one, whom I danced with twice at the Meryton Assembly. Is she not an angel fallen from heaven?" Bingley sighed happily and I almost rolled my eyes at his infatuation.

"I had already told you what I thought of her tonight, Bingley. She is quite handsome but I find that she smiles too much for my liking. Did she enjoy your company as much as you did for hers?"

"I hope so! She was all smiles during the dance but she seems to have a pleasant countenance all the time so I am not sure if she had enjoyed my company. Her sister, whom you rejected so unkindly-"

"Why must you keep bringing up Miss Elizabeth Bennet? That lady hardly has a good feature in her face! Even if I can allow Miss Jane Bennet to be rather handsome, it does not mean that I have any designs upon her or her sisters at all." I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

"Alright, this matter of the Miss Bennets is closed. I shall not bring it up again to remind you of your guilt, my dear friend." Bingley hid a sneaky smile and I seethed in silent indignation for the rest of the ride home.

And that was my first impression of Miss Elizabeth Bennet. My first day here in Hertfordshire and I have already made foes. I bet everyone present at the assembly hates me now. Over the next few weeks, I had accompanied Bingley on more assemblies and found myself observing Miss Elizabeth Bennet with newfound interest. I did not know where this feeling came from, perhaps from the wish of making amends for my ill temper. I also wanted to learn more about Miss Jane Bennet who has captured the attention of Bingley ever since.

Being born and bred in the ton, I naturally have high expectations for women and Miss Elizabeth Bennet barely meets them. Firstly, her manners will be considered too direct in the fashionable society I am so used to. Her figure also lacks lines of perfect symmetry which a young lady ought likewise to be if she possibly can. Despite this, I am not repulsed by such a change of scenery. Strangely enough, I find myself attracted to this different personality which I have never encountered before. Every woman of the ton acts exactly the same, the only difference being their dowries and the amount of lace on their gowns. It actually felt refreshing to meet a woman who could conduct herself without needing to carefully curate her actions and words just to impress a man.

Now, thinking back to the night at the Meryton Assembly, I deeply regret my words. How could I ever find her only tolerable? I was intoxicated then, I recall. I shall push the blame to that damn glass of brandy.

The loud commotion and sudden braking of the carriage snapped me back to the present. Sir William' party. More dancing. More crowds. More matchmaking mothers.

Alight the carriage. Help Caroline down. Plaster impassivity on my face. Take a deep breath. Follow Bingley. Embrace the crowd.

Pray, how could I forget? And more time to watch Miss Elizabeth Bennet in action.

A/N: I am still alive guys! After spending fruitless hours researching on the hard-to-get Regency language and surviving a hell camp, I proudly present this half-chapter. I'll try to write and upload the second-half next week, many thanks for those who are still following my story! Don't forget to review and follow if you enjoyed this chapter, thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

One good thing that has changed is that people stopped gaping at us whenever Bingley, Caroline and I enter an assembly. Everything was as per normal. Normal by country standards, I dare say. My tall figure towered over most of the people in the room and my eyes roamed around unconsciously for Elizabeth. Have I ever mentioned how beautiful her dark eyes are? I could stare in them all day and always see something deep within.

Pray, forgive me for digressing, back to the present. It was not hard to locate her at all. I just needed to open my ears for a few moments and an ear-splitting squeal would easily reveal where her younger sisters were, who were usually situated near the lady in question. Do her sisters not always prance around the room? Yes, they do but there seems to be a scarcity of dancing partners at the moment so they have to make do with shallow gossip in a corner.

A simple teal dress with minimal lace hugged her slender figure perfectly. The light shade of green contrasted greatly with her dark eyes and brought out the sparkle of playfulness hidden within. No matter what her mother says, I perfectly believe that she has as much fashion taste as her sisters if she wishes to utilise them.

She was engaged in conversation with various acquaintances in the room and eager to hear her speak, I stealthily inched my way across the room without drawing any attention to myself. I pride myself on turning invisible whenever necessary and I consider it an extremely important skill to acquire especially for a shy gentleman like myself. When I got close enough, I overheard her conversation with Colonel Forster, one of the officers newly arrived with the regiment.

She was asking him for a ball at Meryton, albeit teasingly. Now that she suggested it, a ball might not be such a bad idea after all. I know I pronounced myself to hate balls but things have changed. Balls make me think of dancing and I could not believe that I had missed the chance to dance with her. I suppose I have also lost all hope of doing so in the future by insulting her in front of everyone.

Damn, she has caught me listening. She is talking to her friend, Miss Lucas with occasional glances towards my direction. It must definitely be about my awkward disposition at balls. How do I seem less awkward? Bingley is not here to save me so I have to rely on my own incompetence to survive through this. Not knowing another way to put a stop to their whispering, I plainly moved nearer to them. If they do not stop talking, then I will get to hear every little bit of judgement they pass about me.

Suddenly, she turned to me and said: "Did you not think, Mr Darcy, that I expressed myself uncommonly well just now when I was teasing Colonel Forster to give us a ball at Meryton?" Damn, she actually initiated a conversation with me!

"With great energy; but it is always a subject which makes a lady energetic." There! A perfectly neutral answer without any barbs she can hold me against.

"You are severe on us." What could she mean? She has a peculiar way of conveying her opinions sometimes. It is hard to tell if she is joking with me or is actually offended with what I said. Thankfully, Miss Lucas saved me from my loss of words by requesting Elizabeth to sing!

I was all for the suggestion because I have never heard her voice before and would love to hear it in my dreams again. Her spotlight was quickly stolen by her attention-seeking middle sister who was impatient at displaying her talent on the piano-forte. Her middle sister was hungry for compliments and albeit the absence of slip-ups in her playing, there was this unsettling air of arrogance around her. Obviously, I did not feel as comfortable listening to the instrument as listening to Elizabeth's calming voice.

As expected, her sisters appeared again and requested several songs to dance to. What a predictable way to ruin the night. Where is Bingley? Is he dancing with Miss Jane Bennet again? Of course he is, pray, the lovesick fool. I fail to understand how anyone can enjoy dancing so much.

"What a charming amusement for young people this is, Mr Darcy! There is nothing like dancing after all. I consider it as one of the first refinements of polished society." A familiar male voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned to see my neighbour, Sir William. Refinements? Polished society? Excuse me, have you looked at yourselves dance? Everyone is simply flinging and swinging their bodies around without a proper mind for the rhythm of the music. Not that the Scotch and Irish airs had any of those but still there are some unsaid rules of dancing. I was the only person present who has learnt so much from my dancing classes since young, I dare say.

"Certainly, sir; and it has the advantage also of being in vogue amongst the less polished societies of the world. Every savage can dance." I replied sarcastically, hoping to scare off my neighbour. Notwithstanding my coldness, Sir William simply smiled.

"Your friend performs delightfully," he continued after a pause, on seeing Bingley join the group; "and I doubt not that you are an adept in the science yourself, Mr Darcy." Trying to persuade me through flattery? I reckon not, Sir William.

"You saw me dance at Meryton, I believe, sir." When in despair of a reply, state the obvious.

"Yes, indeed, and received no inconsiderable pleasure from the sight. Do you often dance at St. James's?" That is rather disturbing. Pray, why were you observing me dance? I shall slowly retreat...

"Never, sir." I am afraid Bingley brings me to too many balls that I have trouble remembering all the different names.

"Do you not think it would be a proper compliment to the place?" That is a strange question indeed. I doubt anyone dancing in this crowd actually spares a thought for the present ballroom.

"It is a compliment which I never pay to any place if I can avoid it." I am sorry to disappoint you, Sir William. I have yet to develop any obsessions towards certain places, except my beloved Pemberley of course.

"You have a house in town, I conclude?" Pray, what else would I do with my ten thousand pounds a year? I bowed, hoping that the silence would allow me an opportunity to escape.

"I had once had some thought of fixing in town myself—for I am fond of superior society, but I did not feel quite certain that the air of London would agree with Lady Lucas." What do you know about superior society? I am sure this old, serene man has never interacted with the _ton_ until we came to Hertfordshire and brought a glimpse of _actual_ society into his life. I bit my tongue once again and the silence enveloped us in an awkward bubble. Pray, would you leave me alone now?

"My dear Miss Eliza, why are you not dancing? Mr Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure when so much beauty is before you." Sir William, have I ever mentioned what a good host you have been! I certainly have no qualms with complimenting your house by dancing here with Elizabeth! I am afraid I was too preoccupied with my efforts to escape that I had failed to notice her presence until dear Sir William pointed it out. To think that what I was wishing for a while ago arrived at my feet without any efforts on my part. I was celebrating my victory in which Sir William spared me the embarrassment of asking for her hand after I refused her at the Meryton Assembly.

"Indeed, sir, I have not the least intention of dancing. I entreat you not to suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner." She did not even look in my direction! I still have to do the gentleman's part of dancing, I suppose.

"Miss Bennet, would you give me the honour of your hand in the next dance?" What could be the reason for her shock? To my dismay, she shook her head vigorously. I actually took the liberty to ask her like a gentleman and she rejects me! Perhaps this is her revenge for the episode at the Meryton Assembly.

Sir William tried to convince her to accept repeatedly but his efforts were in vain. Her determination at _not_ dancing with me wounded my pride a little, I must admit. Any other woman would do anything to be in her position yet she does not give a care to me at all. Perhaps she is still angry? I have no idea how dancing with me would tarnish her reputation, I dare say. Dancing with me can only bring benefits for herself and her sisters.

As I pondered on others reasons of her rejection, the beautiful lady in front of me was replaced with a puffy dress with too much lace.

"I can guess the subject of your reverie." Why do you pretend to know me so well, Caroline? Your pretences irk me greatly.

"I should imagine not," I replied in a bored tone.

"You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner - in such a society, and indeed I am quite of your opinion. I was never more annoyed! The…" I tuned out as Caroline droned on and on while watching enviously at the officer dancing _very_ merrily with Elizabeth.

"Your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow." Pray, I am not like you, Caroline! Always expecting the worst of these country people. There are _some_ things which I seek pleasure in, albeit still dreading balls.

Caroline straightened and fixed her steely gaze on my face. A cold shiver ran down my spine. This crazy woman must be thinking that I am referring to her! She immediately demanded to know who the lady in question was and I was quickly satisfied her burning curiosity.

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet." Her name felt like a holy word rolling off my tongue. I felt good pronouncing her name with newfound confidence and courage to Caroline.

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet!" Caroline's face was priceless! It started out as disbelief, then suspicion before it eventually rested on jealousy and rage. She started insinuating that we are going to be married and I ridiculed her for having such a rapid imagination. Worried that I was actually serious about marriage, she mockingly commented about charming Mrs Bennet as my future mother-in-law.

Caroline's words drifted into my left eye and out of right eye as I stood there with a mask of disinterest. I was concentrating on Elizabeth excel so much in the dance I was just deprived of.

 **A/N: Don't forget to review and follow if you enjoyed this chapter, thank you!**


	6. Chapter 6

"Why are we to dine with the militia officers tonight, Bingley?" I protested after Bingley revealed the invitation sheepishly. I hate balls with a passion. But I hate surprise dinner parties even more.

"The regiment arrived in Meryton a few days ago and they would like to meet some of the gentlemen in the vicinity since they will remain there for the whole winter." Bingley explained patiently. He was used to tolerating my outbursts and objections so it did not affect his countenance one bit. Putting on a smile, he cried, "What is the harm enjoying the night with the company of officers? You do not have any scruples against the regiment, do you, Darcy?"

I remained silent. I did not have a solid reason but something was nagging at the back of my mind. Something about the regiment and militia officers pricked at me but I could not put a finger on it. Perhaps it was just my generalisation that every officer is as obnoxious as my cousin. Shaking away my thoughts, I resigned, "Alright, Bingley. I shall spend the night with you and a bunch of lovely officers."

Relieved that I finally relented, Bingley beamed and started scribbling a reply. I decided to find a book from his library until it was time for us to leave. On the way to the library, I passed by an ajar door. Without peeking in, I already knew who was, or in fact, were inside the room.

"Is this not such a brilliant plan, Louisa?" I could not help but cringe at Caroline's high-pitched voice.

"Indeed, Caroline. I would love to get to know Miss Jane Bennet more. Pray, why should you pick a day when Charles and Mr Darcy would be dining out with the officers?"

"Upon my word, my dear sister is a goose! Of course, Jane is a sweet lady but her family is a whole different bunch, I dare say. Nay, encouraging the acquaintance of Charles and Jane Bennet will ruin all our lives!"

"What do you mean by that, Caroline? Explain yourself or I will tell Charles of your intentions for Mr Darcy." Gulping, I forced myself to remain calm and not rush into the room to strangle Caroline.

"You blind cow! Have you not seen Mrs Bennet at the Meryton Assembly? She is solely driven by her obsession with money and marrying her daughters off. Jane is simply following her mother's bidding to charm our brother and take advantage of his wealth, I dare say."

"How can you accuse Miss Jane Bennet to be so? I cannot pretend to be more than just acquaintances with the fine lady but I am positive that she will not stoop to such a level just to appease her mother and secure her future!"

"Forget it, Louisa. Since we do not see eye to eye on this matter, there is no point in arguing. I urge you not to be too attached to this Jane Bennet or give our brother any false hope which can only result in greater pain eventually." Caroline was definitely smirking in there like she was so confident that everything will turn out as she expected. Pray, I wonder why Caroline is still left on the rack after being out for so long? A scraping of the chair signalled that it was time to go before I got caught. I started walking off as Louisa stormed out, almost bumping into me.

"I am sorry, Mr Darcy. I...I was not looking where I was going." Louisa stammered and blushed. Speaking with loud voices, how could you expect me not to have overheard your little banter? Regardless, I nodded and she hurried off quickly. I decided to hurry off to the library but alas, my name was called out by Caroline who suddenly appeared at the door.

"Mr Darcy! I did not expect you to be here. Come in, I have some good news to share with you." Blast, the odds are not in my favour today. I dragged my feet into the room and took the seat opposite Caroline. She had a sickly smile on her face and gestured to the half-written letter on the table between us. What game is she playing at? I hesitantly picked up the letter and read it.

"MY DEAR FRIEND,—

If you are not so compassionate as to dine to-day with Louisa and me, we shall be in danger of hating each other for the rest of our lives, for a whole day's tete-a-tete between two women can never end without a quarrel. Come as soon as you can on receipt of this."

Was this letter to who I think it is? I looked up and saw that she was glowing with satisfaction. I need to get out of here now.

"Who is the recipient of this invitation?"

"Can you not take a guess? There can only be so few people whom I would honour to dine with us."

I did not come here for this. Disgusting, arrogant woman. I growled impatiently and turned on my best glare towards her. I have no patience to humour you, Caroline.

Sensing my temper, she quickly stated, "It is to Jane Bennet, of course. Louisa and I would love to know her better and what could be better than inviting her over to dinner?"

"What a coincidence that you picked a day when Bingley and I would be dining out. Pray, do not hog Miss Bennet to yourselves. What about poor Bingley?" I smirked. Your gig is up, Caroline. I am not such a fool to miss out on the games you have been playing behind your brother's back.

She blinked at me, speechless for a few moments and coloured. Regaining her composure, she smiled, nay, she actually had the gall to smirk and said, "Indeed, what a pity Charles would miss her company. Do not worry, Mr Darcy, there will be many balls requested by her sisters that would ensure their chances of meeting again. In the meantime, I would end my letter noting the unfortunate circumstances so Jane and her family would not get any wrong notions about this dinner."

Damn, her family! If Caroline had half the mind to extend the invitation to the whole Bennet family, I might just have a reason to stay at home and entertain our guests... But it cannot do. It is impossible. No, you stand a chance, Darcy. You are rich, well-bred and gentlemanly. You can have anyone you wish. Yet she...

"Mr Darcy?" Caroline was poised above the letter with her pen in her hand.

"May you allow me some privacy to finish this letter?" She has turned back to nice sweet Caroline in such a short moment.

"Of course. Enjoy your dinner with Miss Bennet." I stood up abruptly and produced the same scraping sound.

"May I ask you for a favour, Caroline?" I turned back at the door.

"Speak and I'll give you anything you wish." Caroline gave me a coy smile and I spoke before her mind started wandering to places where I would never be caught dead with her.

"Fix that chair opposite you. It is getting too noisy for my liking." Caroline's jaw dropped open. Smirking in contentment, I skipped to the library. The sight of Caroline gaping was indeed a worthwhile repayment for the time I spent cooped up inside with her.

 **A/N: Don't forget to review and follow if you enjoyed this chapter, thank you!**


	7. Chapter 7

{Chapter 7 when Elizabeth came to Jane's rescue at Netherfield}

After a satisfying dinner with the officers, Bingley and I made our way back to Netherfield in our chaise. Meeting the officers was not as bad as expected. Everyone was very welcoming and courteous to me though I showed up with a bad disposition. As the night progressed, I slowly warmed up and started conversing with the officers about their military issues. We were having such intense discussions that Bingley had to interrupt and remind me of the time. Bowing deeply to the officers, we took our leave, being one of the earliest guests to leave as we stayed the furthest from Meryton.

I cannot remind the last time I had a sensible conversation with my acquaintances. Bingley does not enjoy arguing as he calls it and the others are not well-equipped enough to be any use to me in a debate. How I wish I could work up my courage and participate in a banter with her. After listening in to her many conversations with others, I am very intrigued to how the mind of this very interesting woman can adapt and adjust accordingly to whatever the subject of discussion is. But this was a hopeless wish indeed.

When we entered the parlour, Caroline rose steadily and addressed us directly.

"Dear Charles and Mr Darcy, we currently have a sick Jane Bennet resting in one of our guest rooms-" Before she could finish her sentence, Bingley interrupted her with a gasp.

"What...what can you mean by this? Can I know why Miss Bennet is here instead of residing in Longbourn?" Bingley sputtered and his face contorted in pain. Crikey, I did not realise my best friend had developed such deep feelings for Miss Bennet already. This is dangerous. Caroline rolled her eyes at Bingley's distress. What a mean sister.

"Charles, do not get your knickers in a twist! I had sent an invitation to her but she was caught in the rain on the way here and so she arrived soaked and shivering. I have already been so kind a hostess to provide her with one of our guest rooms to rest in and a servant to tend to her needs." Saying this in a haughty tone, Caroline flashed me a smile and waited for us to praise her. Gosh, can you stop flaunting your hostess skills? I certainly do not want a hostess in Pemberley who only does her duty to fish for compliments.

"Can you bring me to Miss Bennet directly?" Bingley sounded like a sad child whose puppy has died. Blast, I am not trying to curse Miss Bennet! My words just come out naturally blunt.

As Caroline and Bingley left the parlour, I am left to my own thoughts once again. Firstly, is Bingley just infatuated with Miss Bennet's beauty or is he really neck-deep in love? This cannot do. Simply because of the same reason I have been trying to convince myself of, keyword being trying. And who knows if Miss Bennet returns his sediments? I know Louisa does not wish to think badly of Miss Bennet because who could? However, if Miss Bennet has monetary motives, then Bingley has already taken the bait. Hook, line, sinker. Nay, this is very very bad. I must think of a plan to protect Bingley at all costs.

Secondly, I feel like Miss Bennet's visit to Netherfield is going to set off a series of events. Not that they would all be bad, although I can imagine that much more rumours would be spreading around that Miss Bennet and Bingley will be expecting matrimony soon. I suppose… forget it, this little hunch of mine cannot be supported by proper evidence that it will come into fruition, so I shall not dwell on it any further. Just saying that it would be killing two birds with one stone if she somehow decides to visit her ailing older sister in Netherfield… I would not complain about Miss Bennet staying for as long as she wants to then. I promptly retired to bed with my fingers crossed and hope that tomorrow will bring about something good.

•~•

"Good morning, Bingley. Are you alright? You look rather pale." I was in the midst of breaking my fast with Louisa and Caroline when Bingley dragged his feet into the breakfast-parlour. Shuffling to his seat, Bingley shook his head and sighed.

"Jane, I mean Miss Bennet is not looking any better than yesterday. I have just made a phone call to the apothecary for him to take a look at her. I just hope she would recover soon." I nodded my head and reached for a slice of bread. Bingley remained slumped on his seat. I guess he lost his appetite at the sight of his beloved in such a weak state. And I certainly did not miss the slip of his tongue at addressing Miss Bennet so informally. I was getting increasingly worried about my friend's health and love life. I know it is none of my business to poke my nose into others' romantic pursues but sometimes Bingley can be so blinded by the temptations of life. In such cases, it becomes my responsibility to wake him up to his senses and open his eyes to reality. If I just watch and stare as Bingley walks to his doom, what kind of friend am I?

While Bingley was wallowing in self-guilt and sadness, Caroline is anything but. She is clearly unhappy that a single invitation to dinner has led to so much more inconvenience for her and distraction to Bingley. The whole time during breakfast, she kept slamming her knife onto her plate after slapping butter onto her bread and stabbing her fork into her breakfast roll. Anyone with eyes could see that she was out for blood. Even Mr Hurst decided to chew his food quietly this morning. Not that I was intimidated at all. It was after all a source of entertainment for me to enjoy peacefully. Until a servant entered the room and announced the arrival of the very same woman I was hoping for.

I was all astonishment, to say the least. Her face emitted a natural glow that only further highlighted her sparkling eyes and I somehow liked that her hair was slightly tousled. Now I know that exercise can bring her complexion to even greater heights. My thoughts started to become not-so-gentlemanly and I coughed awkwardly to clear my dirty mind.

"Miss Eliza Bennet!" Caroline cried as she took in her appearance. I was still reeling from the shock that she actually managed to walk three miles so early in the day, in such horrible weather and by herself to Netherfield. I knew that she and Miss Bennet were like two peas in a pod because they were the only two functioning human beings in their family but I did not expect her sisterly love to be so strong for her to do such a dangerous act. It must have been so muddy walking here, why did her family not stop her? Ah, how could I forget? She is a stubborn woman. I can already imagine her declaring her resolution defiantly to and storming out of the house with her mother shouting after her to stop.

"May I see my sister please?" She ignored Caroline's judging eyes and requested calmly.

Breaking out of his stupor, Bingley looked up and cried, "Miss Bennet!" It was as if the sight of her gave him a surge of energy and hope. Bingley bounced up from his chair and received her with his usual amiable disposition. She smiled and made a few enquiries about her sister which were readily responded by Bingley.

"I am very sorry about your sister's condition, Miss Bennet. I should have prevented Caroline from extending an invitation on a rainy day. I should have been here to tend to her earlier-" Bingley bowed and apologised even though it was all Caroline's doing.

"Miss Eliza Bennet, let me show you to the guest room where your sister is resting in." Caroline snarled in an attempt to shut Bingley up. She nodded and thanked Bingley before leaving the room with Caroline.

Heaving a deep sigh of relief, Bingley sat down at his chair again but this time, in a more relaxed state. Seemingly gotten back his appetite, he nibbled on a breakfast roll in silent bliss. A while later, Caroline returned back and instantly prodded Bingley.

"Charles, why are you even apologising to Miss Eliza Bennet? It is not your fault that Jane Bennet is so weak as to fall ill from a trifling cold." Bingley frowned at her but remained silent.

"Caroline, you are the hostess of Netherfield, can you at least show some respect for the guest whom you personally invited? If her sickness is to be blamed, you are in fact the main perpetrator. Pray, stop being so spiteful towards her." Her severe treatment of Miss Bennet was driving me and Bingley up the wall. I also wanted to shield Bingley from his sister's attacks.

With me putting an end to Caroline's snarky remarks, Caroline finally kept mum for the rest of breakfast. Sneaking a peek of my best friend, Bingley mouthed a "Thank you" and I smiled back. She and my best friend were here with me, what else could I ask for?


	8. Chapter 8

At half-past six, we were all gathered in the dining parlour once again. I usually dread meal times because of the company I usually had to endure but today it was going to be slightly more bearable. While Bingley bombarded Elizabeth with inquiries concerning Miss Bennet, I noticed the slight hunch of her shoulders and the distant look in her eyes. Looking after her sister all day must have worn her out emotionally more than physically, it seems. Caroline, take notes!

"I am sorry to grieve you further, Mr Bingley, but Jane is by no means better." Elizabeth replied with a shake of her head.

"Oh! I am so sorry to hear that, Eliza! It is indeed shocking that Jane would have caught such a bad cold from a little rain but alas, I can totally understand the pain of falling ill. It is such a dreadful thing to experience!" Caroline cried out in faux concern. I could see Elizabeth resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

Being the kind host he is, Bingley carried on by engaging Elizabeth in light conversation throughout dinner. After that one mention of Miss Bennet, Caroline redirected the rest of her attention towards simpering at me. Gross, I bet she was testing out my gag reflex the whole night. I ignored her of course. Louisa was quietly enjoying her meal as usual. And Mr Hurst was as sluggish as ever. The only time he actually exerted his body was when he displayed a look of disapproval upon hearing that Elizabeth prefers a plain dish to a ragout.

When dinner was over, Elizabeth cursied and excused herself to return directly to Jane. KABOOM! That was the sound of Caroline's jabbing mouth exploding from all the insults she had to say about Elizabeth. You would think she had better things to talk about.

"Do you not think that Eliza has very bad manners, Mr Darcy? She was incapable of any conversation other than topics about her poor darling sister and her dear family. What a disgrace to the female sex indeed!" Caroline whined and pouted. I cringed and did not bother to respond.

"She has nothing, in short, to recommend her, but being an excellent walker. I shall never forget her appearance this morning. She really looked almost wild." Louisa added fuel to Caroline's raging fire. Louisa is almost like Caroline's minion.

"She did, indeed, Louisa. I could hardly keep my countenance. Very nonsensical to come at all!" Caroline beamed at her sister for bringing up a valid fault and continued rambling on Elizabeth's hair and petticoat and something else.

"Your picture may be very exact, Louisa. But this was all lost upon me. I thought Miss Elizabeth Bennet looked remarkably well when she came into the room this morning. Her dirty petticoat quite escaped my notice." Bingley said as I nodded in encouragement. Fair words, my friend, fair words!

"You observed it, Mr Darcy, I am sure. And I am inclined to think that you would not wish to see your sister make such an exhibition." Of course, I was admiring Elizabeth in her post-exercise state, but was I actually gaping or drooling? I find it very nonsensical to compare two women with very contrasting personalities and dispositions in an attempt to induce me to dislike one of them.

"Certainly not." I was certainly not going to let Caroline know my actual thoughts. Blah blah blah blah. Bingley stands up for Elizabeth again.

"I am afraid, Mr Darcy, that this adventure has rather affected your admiration of her fine eyes." Lord, can you stop talking to me?! Wait, I know the right antidote to shut your mouth up.

"Not at all, they were brightened by the exercise." A short pause followed and I was happy for the silence until Louisa broke it again. At least the subject of conversation has strayed away from Elizabeth. But not very far.

"I have an excessive regard for Miss Jane Bennet, she is really a very sweet girl, and I wish with all my heart she were well settled. But with such a father and mother, and such low connections, I am afraid there is no chance of it." I nearly snorted out loud. That was the most insincere condolence I have ever heard, even from Louisa. The two evil sisters cackled about Miss Bennet's Cheapside uncle and Bingley comes to her rescue again. Except that this time I feel an urge to say something because we are talking about Miss Bennet now.

"If they had uncles enough to fill all Cheapside, it would not make them one jot less agreeable." Bingley cried, interrupting his sisters' laughter.

"But it must very materially lessen their chance of marrying men of any consideration in the world." I glanced at Bingley as I said this but he made no answer. Pray, take my words personally, Bingley. Not to harm but to warn.

"Louisa, we had better check on Jane now. To see if she is feeling better." Caroline suddenly grabbed her sister's arm and lead her out of the room. I am telling you, this woman is a frigging hypocrite! I really cannot stand being in the same room as her one moment longer. So disgusting.

•~•

"Bingley, what do you say to a game of loo?" Mr Hurst suggested as he yawned unceremoniously. Bingley eagerly accepted and opened the loo table in the drawing-room. I was about to settle down with a book but Bingley coaxed me to join the game with his pretty-please? look and I could not reject him. As Bingley was giving out the cards, Elizabeth suddenly entered the room. An invitation was immediately extended but I could see the hesitation lurking in her eyes.

"I thank you for the invitation, but I shall simply amuse myself with a book for the short time I could stay below, in case Jane might need me anytime." She smiled and replied calmly. Our company usually played at high stakes since we could afford to lose a little money once in a while. Unlike us, Elizabeth probably had to be more careful with her spendings.

"Do you prefer reading to cards? That is rather singular." said Mr Hurst who was astonished by Elizabeth twice already this evening. I have never seen so much change in facial expression by him before. The aristocracy, including Mr Hurst, depended on card games to fill their empty schedules and socialise with other higher class people. I cannot deny I am not part of them of course, but I do have other pleasures apart from cards. Unlike Mr Hurst, I do see significance in education and enrichment through reading.

"Miss Eliza Bennet despises cards. She is a great reader and has no pleasure in anything else." Caroline said sarcastically. How did she manage to fit a compliment and an insult in one speech?! Only she can do such a nasty thing.

"I deserve neither such praise nor such censure. I am not a great reader and I have pleasure in many things." Elizabeth cried with unconcealed indignance. I could think of one other pleasure… walking in the mud! Forgive me, Elizabeth.

"In nursing your sister I am sure you have pleasure, and I hope it will be soon increased by seeing her quite well," Bingley added warmly. Ah, Bingley, always knowing the right words to a lady's heart! I should start taking notes too.

Elizabeth went to the table where a few books were lying but they were mostly about trade, considering that they were passed down from Bingley's father. Bingley offered to fetch her others from his library, not that it has a vast collection either, but she politely declined and sat down with a book in the room. Probably noticing me staring at Elizabeth, Caroline called for my attention again.

"I am astonished that my father should have left so small a collection of books. What a delightful library you have at Pemberley, Mr Darcy!" Ah, I see what you did there. Trying to get me to talk about my beloved place.

"It ought to be good, it has been the work of many generations." I cannot help but swell in pride. I really love my library a lot. It is my sanctuary.

"And then you have added so much to it yourself, you are always buying books." Of course, I do not waste my money on girls and gambling. Do you not think that books are a much better investment?

"I cannot comprehend the neglect of a family library in such days as these," I said with a pointed look at Bingley, to which he returned a sheepish smile.

"Neglect! I am sure you neglect nothing that can add to the beauties of that noble place. Charles, when you build your house, I wish it may be half as delightful as Pemberley."

"I wish it may." Bingley agreed wholeheartedly and I was also happy that my house is a source of my pride.

"But I would really advise you to make your purchase in that neighbourhood and take Pemberley for a kind of model. There is not a finer county in England than Derbyshire." A not so subtle hint to Bingley to get the hell out of here. It is for his good and my own good. But mostly for his. Another change of subject to my sister. Blast, how did Caroline become so good at picking conversational topics? She laid out her trap and I cannot seem to entangle myself.

"Is Miss Darcy much grown since the spring? Will she be as tall as I am?" Caroline asked, no doubt forcing me to answer her question since the lady of question is my sister after all. When is this going to end? I contributed to the conversation but I stared at my cards dully.

"Then you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman." Elizabeth's voice made me look up and I took three seconds to recall what I just said before replying in the assertive. Caroline then began to list the qualities of an accomplished woman and guess what? What a coincidence that she seems to have possessed all of those qualities! I am sure she thinks she has by the confident tone she used as she spoke as if she was describing herself to us.

Giving Elizabeth a side glance, I added, "All this she must possess, and to all this, she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading." Too bad, Caroline! You seem to fall short of this aspect, how unfortunate.

"I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any." Elizabeth replied with a look of displeasure. Did you not realise I was referring to you in my last speech? Perhaps she is playing hard to get. Interesting.

"Are you so severe upon your own sex as to doubt the possibility of all this?" Elizabeth… the place where you lived in your entire life? I would not expect any bit of accomplishment to exist there, I dare say. Except for your own and your eldest sister. Yes, only the two of you.

"I never saw such a woman. I never saw such capacity and taste and application and elegance as you describe united." I can only conclude that Elizabeth has issues with low self-esteem. The two sisters cried out against the injustice towards the female sex and started protesting loudly. Mr Hurst called their attention back to the game and Elizabeth shortly left the room.

Here we go again. Caroline always has something mean to say about Elizabeth and this time I took her by her horns. Bull or devil, you choose. She did not continue the censure anymore. Elizabeth appeared with a pale expression only to say that Miss Bennet was worse and that she could not leave her. Bingley started to panic and the sisters casually suggested an express to town for a distinguished physician.

Elizabeth's eyes widened at their suggestion and quickly declined the offer. I was tempted to offer to pay for the physician, but never mind. She decided on Mr Jones being sent in the morning. Bingley fidgeted and squirmed in his seat, his attention unable to focus on the card game no longer. The sisters pretended to be miserable. As if they were even capable of such emotions honestly. After supper, their wretchedness disappeared once again with a snap of the fingers and a poof of smoke. I really hope Miss Bennet would get better soon so I could be spared from the fake looks of despair on Caroline's face.

 **A/N: Sorry it has been so long since I have updated. This is my longest chapter ever as an apology. Hope you liked it!**


	9. Chapter 9

"Mrs Bennet, two of her silly daughters and Mr Jones are sitting with Miss Jane Bennet right now…" Caroline was saying to Bingley when I entered the breakfast parlour. I do not usually oversleep, I swear. I just wanted to remain longer in my dream where Elizabeth and I were walking in the fields of Pemberley together.

My valet knocked at my door a few times before I dragged my reluctant body up from my bed. If I was still half-asleep, what I just heard served well as a rude awakening. Mrs Bennet is here? With her daughters? Can I go back to bed already? I absolutely did not want to deal with their chatter and giggles first thing in the morning.

Bingley nodded his head and looked satisfied with the current situation. He did not look well-rested either, I must say. Must be worrying about his angel's health the whole night. And Caroline is still furious as she always is ever since Miss Jane Bennet's arrival to Netherfield. Sending that dinner invitation must be her worst regret. It is no matter, I am sure she will cheer up with the presence of our visitors later!

Speak of the devil, the door opens and the three banshees are invited into the breakfast parlour. The sisters gave a little wave to Elizabeth who paled at their entrance before plopping themselves on the sofa. Bingley launched a hopeful question of concern to Mrs Bennet almost immediately. In a rather gleeful tone, Mrs Bennet replied that Miss Jane Bennet's condition became worse, making it necessary for her to remain in the house a while longer.

Bingley allowed for such and Caroline promised that Miss Jane Bennet would be well-taken care of, although with unconcealed coldness. Bipolar woman. Mrs Bennet's profuse thanks remind me a lot of Caroline's incessant praise for anything and everything related to me. Strange how the more one talks well about something, the more insincere one sounds.

Bingley started explaining that he should not be leaving Netherfield any time soon. If he wanted to, he would have left it in a haste. This is very true, Bingley acts on impulse. Take his love life as an example.

Elizabeth replied that she had expected him to be as such. Bingley laments that his character is too easy to be seen through. Mrs Bennet silents Elizabeth in an annoyed tone. At least she makes better use of her time studying characters rather than prancing around the neighbourhood, spreading gossip to any willing ears! Thankfully, Elizabeth pays no heed to her mother. She never does.

Elizabeth continued to say that intricate characters are the most amusing to study and somehow I felt like this comment was a personal attack. Am I being too sensitive? I always feel like the topic of conversation anywhere I go so I get defensive quickly. I certainly did not want to praise her for her interesting skill so I had nothing else to share. I could only reply that the country neighbourhood can only provide a small and stagnant range of characters for her amusement. Of all things to say, I just had to indirectly insult her origins. Well done, Darcy!

Mrs Bennet was obviously insulted and started blabbering about the _four-and-twenty families_ her family dines with. If I was a social butterfly, I could have as many families come over at Pemberley, Mrs Bennet! She very pointedly suggested that I look down upon the country, even though I believe nothing of the such ever left my lips. But I wanted to thank Mrs Bennet for that because…

Elizabeth spoke up for me! Yes, you read that right! And I am not dreaming. I am fully sober and awake now.

She had the good grace to blush at her mother's directness and defended me. I did not say any offensive to be honest, but I appreciated her clarification whole-heartedly. Caroline shot me a smirk as if challenging me to continue admiring Elizabeth despite everything about her mother going against my principles of propriety. When will she give up? I suddenly recalled her outcry of Elizabeth condescending upon her own sex last night and wanted to laugh out in irony. Caroline basically does everything she faults Elizabeth for, does she not realise that?

Elizabeth tries to change the subject to Miss Charlotte Lucas and Mrs Bennet miraculously manages to put Miss Jane Bennet on a pedestal _again_. This time, she even calls the Lucas ladies plain! Women are indeed merciless creatures when they want something bad. Meanwhile, Bingley is either very oblivious or very modest to Mrs Bennet's insinuations and for once, I am actually glad for that. He does not need more encouragement to court Miss Jane Bennet officially from anyone. Especially her mother who has dollar signs in her eyes.

"I do not boast of my own child…" Mrs Bennet rambled and I bit on my lip. Sure, I totally believe you, Mrs Bennet. I would never imagine you capable of such a shameless act. And no one cares about Miss Jane Bennet's ex. Possibly Bingley. Elizabeth interrupted her mother crossly that poetry drives away love.

My gut told me this was a clear invitation for me to speak again. How could I not say something in the name of literature? Or choose not to participate in a debate with Elizabeth?

"I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love," I said. Good, I finally have something sensible to say! She rebutted but I only smiled. She even looked a bit disappointed at my silence! You do not how much I crave a lengthy discussion with you about the effect of poetry on love but I decided I should spare Bingley from witnessing any more "arguments" between us. And also because I do not want to taint any good debacles with Elizabeth because of the intrusion of our visitors. Anyway, I am sure we will have other chances to argue happily!

After many more words of gratitude, Mrs Bennet _finally_ decides to leave. I have been waiting for this moment since she entered the breakfast parlour! While waiting for their carriage, the youngest daughter suddenly reminded Bingley of his promise to hold a ball. Why must this happen to me? When I thought I would be free of this crazy family soon, Bingley just had to agree to her request as long as Miss Jane Bennet recovers. I almost fainted at that moment. One more nightmare to endure. Honestly, I find the youngest daughter very similar to her mother in terms of countenance and character. Her mother was as delighted upon Bingley's consent to the ball. I can already see her pairing her daughters up with eligible bachelors in her head.

When they departed, Elizabeth also left the room back to Miss Jane Bennet. Cue Caroline's ranting.

"Mr Darcy, how do you think about having Mrs Bennet as your mother-in-law? Are her fine eyes worth tolerating her mother's raptures?" I gave no reaction to Caroline's snide question. Unable to stir me up, she proceeded to censure the Bennet family, leaving me wondering how many days will Elizabeth remain in Netherfield. I do not mind this arrangement, except that Caroline is the damn mistress of Netherfield. Do not fret, Darcy. One day, Elizabeth will get the chance to see my house too. And there will not be any Caroline or Mrs Bennet to burst our perfect bubble of happiness.

 **A/N: Hey friends, I'm not dead! Sorry for the late update, I was on holiday since last week. I will try to write more constantly now that I am quite free heh heh...**


	10. Chapter 10

It was an uneventful day so far, with the usual gossiping and fake concern from Caroline. I did not have the pleasure of meeting with Elizabeth since last night so I presume she spent most of her time in the company of her sister. It was only in the evening when Elizabeth joined us in the drawing room while I was preoccupied with writing a letter to my beloved sister.

I wonder how is Georgina doing with her new companion, Mrs Annesley. What could they be doing right now? Perhaps playing a duet on the pianoforte? Or enjoying some light reading together? I just hope Georgina will re-emerge from her shattered shell with the help of Mrs Annesley. What happened in Ramsgate was too heavy a blow for a sheltered girl who had not come out in society then. I pray that she will be in a much better state than how I left her in when Bingley invited me to Netherfield.

I put a lot of thought and love in letters to my sister, which requires my utmost focus and concentration, yet Caroline seems to be judging me for every little thing. Can you just leave me alone to write my letter? Every time she tries to flatter Georgina or compliment me, I try not to roll my eyes.

"How delighted Miss Darcy would be to receive such a letter!" Tell me something I do not already know, would you? I know I dote too much on Georgina.

"You write uncommonly fast." What an interesting observation, Caroline. Pray, do you not have anything better to say?

"How many letters you must have occasion to write in the course of a year! Letters of business, too! How odious I should think them!" I wish I could simply ignore her, but I have no choice but to show her due respect as hostess.

"Pray tell your sister that I long to see her." That is already the third time you have said that! Although I only told Georgina once, it is not my fault that Georgina does not long to see you.

"I am afraid you do not like your pen. Let me mend it for you. I mend pens remarkably well." Excuse you, I have been using this pen for the last five years and I certainly do not find any problem with it. I would rather not entrust any of my belongings to you, Caroline. And mending pens is not one of the qualities an accomplished woman should possess in my opinion, so stop embarrassing yourself.

"How can you contrive to write so even?" What kind of trivial questions are these? I decided to keep quiet to see if she would continue to bug me if I refused to answer.

"Tell your sister I am delighted to hear of her improvement on the harp; and pray let her know that I am quite in raptures with her beautiful little design for a table, and I think it infinitely superior to Miss Grantley's." Pray, I truly have no care for what you think! A pity that my subdued reply did my anger no justice.

I thought that would finally silence her, but nay, she continues to ask me about my long letters. Then she comes to the conclusion that anyone who is comfortable with writing long letters can write very well. What logic is this? I do not see how this is a compliment at all. Instead, I find her statement utterly ludicrous, which further reinforces the point that she lacks true intellect. Unlike my Elizabeth!

I am happy to say that Bingley has come to my rescue again. Oh never mind, he is trying to insult my writing style. I take back my gratitude. At least his addition to the conversation distracts Caroline for a bit. She insults Bingley's messy handwriting to which he attributes to his rapid flow of ideas. And guess who speaks? I suppose she was itching for some conversation of sorts but the pitiful way that Caroline and I were engaging in must have been a source of private mockery for her.

"Your humility, Mr Bingley, must disarm reproof," said Elizabeth.

"Nothing is more deceitful than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast." I quickly answered, smiling at Bingley. I hope he understands that I do not wish to offend him. I am just using him as a subject of argument with Elizabeth.

"And which of the two do you call my little recent piece of modesty?" Bingley flashed a cheeky grin back. Bingley, Elizabeth and I continued on a dispute in which Caroline had no share whatsoever. In an attempt to end the argument perhaps, Bingley actually told Elizabeth that if I were not such a great tall fellow, he would not show me half as much respect! And he called me more than an awful object! Is there anything wrong with finding solace in my own house? And cherishing my precious free time on Sunday evenings?

Rather offended, I only smiled and counted to ten in my head. Elizabeth let out a restrained laugh. Remember to breathe, Darcy.

"Charles, how could you say such a thing of Mr Darcy? I believe he owns the

pleasure of behaving however he wishes to in his own house and in his own time." Caroline stared daggers at Bingley. But I am calm now.

"I see your design, Bingley. You dislike an argument and you wish to silence this."

"Perhaps I do. Arguments are too much like disputes. If you and Miss Bennet will defer yours till I am out of the room, I shall be very thankful; and then you may say whatever you like of me." Fine, Bingley. Be the peace-loving soul that you are.

"What you ask is no sacrifice on my side and Mr Darcy had much better finish his letter," Elizabeth said and so I did. With no more interrogation from Caroline, I was better equipped with the proper state of mind to finish my letter.

"Miss Bingley and Miss Elizabeth, would you ladies do us the pleasure of indulging us in some music?" I would wish for Elizabeth to be the one playing, but that request would be too obvious to even my dense company. As I expected, Caroline rose and rushed to the pianoforte before she recalled the presence of the other and invited Elizabeth to lead the way. To my displeasure, Elizabeth shook her head and declined, allowing Caroline to flaunt herself again. Louisa sang with Caroline as Elizabeth flipped through some music books scattered on the instrument.

Admiring her figure, I silently listed her favourable qualities before I stopped after "Shows unconditional love and care towards her family". Her family. Every time I try to imagine a future shared by both of us, her family always shows up and destroys the perfect image I had in mind.

In one of the many dreams I had involving Elizabeth, we were watching a Shakespeare play together when her sisters and mother rushed up on stage and chased after a certain male actor, who jumped off the stage and ran out of the theatre. Fingers were banging a series of dissonant piano chords off-stage and the scriptwriter dashed out to try to calm the raging crowd. It was Mr Bennet! After seeing his wife and daughters made a fool of themselves, he only sighed deeply and turned back the way he came from. Furious that the show was so rudely interrupted by a bunch of inconsiderate ladies, the crowd started throwing their belongings at the stage. Elizabeth's cries filled my ears and I had woken up in cold sweat that morning. That was one of the worst dreams I ever had and I could not help but question if that was an analogy of our fates.

Will Elizabeth forever be burdened by her family? Will Elizabeth forever be out of my reach? Will Elizabeth ever be mine?

Depressing thoughts indeed. Fortunately, the change of music brought about a change of mood with a little flame of hope and courage.

"Do not you feel a great inclination, Miss Bennet, to seize such an opportunity of dancing a reel?" I regretted saying it as soon as I did. What possessed me to do such a impertinent thing? Elizabeth is the one, not me. Worst still, Elizabeth smiled with no reply. Rejection, it must be. Or perhaps Caroline's playing had drowned out my voice?

I repeated my question and she said, "Oh! I heard you before, but I could not immediately determine what to say in reply. You wanted me, I know, to say 'Yes,' that you might have the pleasure of despising my taste; but I always delight in overthrowing those kinds of schemes, and cheating a person of their premeditated contempt. I have, therefore, made up my mind to tell you, that I do not want to dance a reel at all—and now despise me if you dare." To be misunderstood to such a degree! How could you think that I would ever despise you, Elizabeth?

"Indeed I do not dare." I cannot believe she denied me of dancing with me again. Pray, when am I ever going to get the chance to dance with her? Yet, who could be offended by that teasing face?

Remember her family, Darcy? Recall your nightmare! I realised that if not for them, there would be no scruples in seriously courting Elizabeth for marriage. Damn, it seems like my mind also jumps from admiration to love, from love to marriage! I am not a lady, I should not be thinking of such matters like one!

"Miss Elizabeth, should you not check on dear Jane again? I do wish for her to be recovered enough to join our company." Caroline stopped playing and turned to Elizabeth. Elizabeth quickly excused herself back to Miss Bennet's side for the rest of the night. If that was not evident enough of her jealousy, she relentlessly provoked me to dislike Elizabeth by talking our supposed marriage and my happiness. It should not have affected me, but it did, unfortunately.

Caroline's words made me more despondent, knowing that something I so earnestly desire can never come to fruition because of our different social standing and connections. It did not make me dislike Elizabeth more, it made me want her more, I dare say.

The next day, while Caroline intruded on my solitary walk in the shrubbery and started gossiping again, we met Louisa walking with Elizabeth.

"I did not know you intended to walk," Caroline sputtered out, most likely fearing that she had been caught red-handed by her victim herself. Louisa berated her for abandoning the two of them and hurriedly took my disengaged arm, leaving Elizabeth behind. I felt a rush of embarrassment. Why are these two ladies clouding my gentleman hue with their obnoxiousness? Elizabeth is going to have a bad impression of me if I do not do something.

"This walk is not wide enough for our party. We had better go into the avenue." I said quickly, looking at Elizabeth for her reaction. But she rejected me again. She laughingly said that the three of us looked charming walking together and left me in the clutches of the two evil sisters. How could you do this to me, Elizabeth? I very much rather walk with you in the shrubbery... I decided to take a shortcut back to the house to rid myself of Caroline and Louisa as soon as possible. I did not have any mood to walk anymore. I just wanted the company of my thoughts.

Returning to my room, I sat down on the armchair facing the window. Such an appropriate setting for serious contemplations. What am I going to do about Elizabeth? How am I going to endure Caroline once she and Miss Bennet leave Netherfield? How am I going to survive the rest of my life at all?

Unable to produce any answer at all, I tossed and turned in my bed that night, my thoughts swirling around in a murky puddle. I gave thanks for the comforting albeit temporary presence of our guests and my mind settled down a considerable amount, allowing me to finally rest after all the events of the day.

A/N: Don't forget to vote and comment if you enjoyed this chapter, thank you!


	11. Chapter 11

Apart from Elizabeth, what I had seen of Bingley and Miss Jane Bennet proved to be a topic of consideration as well. After the separation of the sexes, came the new addition of Miss Jane Bennet in the drawing-room. When Bingley, Mr Hurst and I entered, the four ladies seemed to be in the middle of some animated conversation. I have never seen such spirit in Caroline when attending to guests before. However, her attention was instantly directed to us, more accurately me in particular and her recovered guest was soon neglected.

Caroline was about to say something, probably taking credit for nursing her guest back to health, but I strode forward to Miss Bennet past her.

"Miss Bennet, it is a pleasure that you have rested well enough to join our company." Her recovery should be good news for me, right?

"Very glad… we are very glad to see you well…" Mr Hurst mumbled with a clumsy bow.

"Miss Bennet, I am extremely gratified that you have fully recovered to join our company this evening. Would you require anything for comfort? Is the room too cold or hot for you? Should I request for a stronger fire?" Without waiting for Miss Bennet's reply, Bingley quickly called a servant to pile up the fireplace. That took a half-hour! And if that was not enough telling, he afterwards desired for her to the other side of the fireplace, further away from the door. Very subtle, Bingley, very subtle indeed. Even the blind could tell that Bingley admired Miss Bennet very much so. After distancing Miss Bennet from the rest of us, Bingley sat beside her for the rest of the night and directed most of _his_ attention to her. Bingley, stop it! If this gets out, your family will be shamed forever!

"Caroline, how about a game of cards?" Mr Hurst suggested after tea was over.

"I am afraid not, Mr Hurst. We should spend the evening enjoying the company of our fair friend Jane here. After all, no one intends to play cards tonight, I dare say." Caroline dashed his hopes without hesitation. Saying this, she glanced over at me and smiled. What? Is this part of some conspiracy plan I have no intelligence about? Anyway, the absence of Mr Hurst's favourite card-table does not bother me so. As I said before, I do not care much for cards. I much rather read this evening. Especially to distract me from Bingley's public display of affections and Elizabeth's general presence of being in the same room as I.

I chose a book from Bingley's meagre selections and followed Caroline with a queer look as she took up a book. Who is this creature? What has become of the old Caroline? Has the devil swapped her soul for his? Shaking my head in bewilderment, I opened up my book and started to read. To my greatest ire, Caroline tried prompting me with questions relating to my book or my speed of reading or whatever I was doing. I knew it, the book was solely a pretence. Of what, you might ask? Perhaps to show how "accomplished" she was to have _coincidentally_ picked the sequel of the book _I_ had picked. Yes, I noticed the cover of the book after she took it. How devious indeed. Did you really expect me not to see such an obvious plan to stir me into a conversation? As always, I simply responded to her question and carried on with my reading, determined not to let her get the better of me.

"How pleasant it is to spend an evening in this way! I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book! When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library."  
Caroline yawned and exclaimed in exaggerated enthusiasm. Are you kidding me? Of all things to say and of all people to have said that! Careful, Caroline, your nose might grow longer tonight. I almost snorted out loud at the irony of her statement but I refused to show any reaction at all, so I maintained a straight face with my head down. The silence that followed her statement caused me to smirk silently, gloating at the attention she was receiving. Louisa had joined Bingley by Miss Bennet and Mr Hurst was sleeping on the sofa, so essentially she had no audience whatsoever. Elizabeth was reading like me, I dare say, and she would never condescend herself to answer to such a ridiculous statement like that. In fact, I would not be surprised if she was stifling her own giggles as well.

Turning her attention to her brother, she advised Bingley against hosting a ball at Netherfield because _some among us_ would find the ball a punishment rather than a pleasure. Excuse me! I have not given you leave to make suggestions at my reluctance of attending balls, Caroline. Although that is admittedly already a well-known fact by my acquaintances, I dislike it when someone brings it up in conversation as if it is a deadly sin.

Bingley brushed her concerns aside and assured her that once the white soup was ready, he would be sending out invitation cards. It seems like I would be seeing the Bennet family again. Would I have the honour of her hand? I do not know how to feel about that. My emotions have been in a mess these days. I have not had the energy or time to sort them out. The sound of Caroline walking past me snapped me out of my stupor. I quickly locked my eyes on my book and refused to give Caroline the satisfaction of successfully catching my eye. She was so desperate in making me look at her that she called out to Elizabeth and persuaded the surprised lady to join her.

Elizabeth agreed and I was finally willing to grace my eyes upon their fine figures. Caroline was satisfied that she accomplished her goal and for this, she treated Elizabeth with a pleasant demeanour during the short course of their turn about the room. I only looked up with the addition of Elizabeth and to anyone watching, this might have been considered as a dangerous display of attention but I did not care for that. Not here, not now. After all, everyone seemed to be distracted some way or another so at least in Netherfield, I had some freedom to reveal my emotions and conduct my actions however I liked without the scrutiny of the society's eyes.

"Mr Darcy, would you like to join our company and take a turn around the room?" Caroline directly invited me, once having gotten my attention and I declined.

"There can only be but two motives for your choosing to walk up and down the room together, both of which joining you I would interfere," I remarked as a cheeky thought slid into my head.

"What could Mr Darcy mean? I am dying to know what could be his meaning! Dear Eliza, could you understand him at all?" Caroline drawled. Elizabeth replied in the negative but being the impertinent chit she is, she objected to asking me so as to disappoint me. Why must you assume that I mean to be severe on you, Elizabeth? Even if I raised my expectations, you would always be able to exceed them greatly. Now that I recall that circumstance, Elizabeth might have been trying to end the conversation with Caroline by giving negative answers like how I usually do.

Back to the walking, Caroline was apparently incapable of disappointing me in anything, especially her manners of decorum of which I expect nothing from, and pressed me for an explanation of the two motives which I had thought of. No matter what Elizabeth said, I was sure she was still curious thus I revealed my thoughts to the two ladies in question.

"You either choose this method of passing the evening because you are in each other's confidence, and have secret affairs to discuss, or because you are conscious that your figures appear to the greatest advantage in walking. If the first, I would be completely in your way, and if the second, I can admire you much better as I sit by the fire." Did I do it right? Was that considered flirting? I hope Elizabeth would get the right message now!

"Oh! Shocking! I never heard anything so abominable. How shall we punish him for such a speech?" Caroline cried, smiling. God forbid she misunderstands me! I was not referring to your figure, Caroline! Elizabeth suggested teasing or laughing at me, or even intimidating me as Caroline must know how to. I have to say I felt a cold shiver down my spine when Elizabeth said that last part. Caroline, I dare say, knows many ways she could intimidate me. One very excellent example is her, fortunately, failed attempt at trying to compromise me last season. I am still scarred from that incident and am wholeheartedly grateful to my valet, who was in my room when Caroline entered. I have a habit of taking a shower before retiring to bed and thankfully, Caroline did not have the intelligence of this piece of information. Her plan was thus foiled and she was chased out of my room by my angry valet. I still get goosebumps recalling that night.

"But upon my honour, I do _not_. I do assure you that my intimacy has not yet taught me _that_." ...Are you sure about that, Caroline? You have misused our nonexistent intimacy to try to achieve intimacy with me before, I will never forget! Being the predictable idiot she is, Caroline objected to teasing me for how could they expose themselves by laughing at my calmness of manner and presence of mind. Be the same boring woman. Maybe if you dared to laugh at me, I might have dared to show you a bit more interest.

Elizabeth was indignant of not being to laugh at me and called it a great loss to her for she dearly loves a laugh.

"Miss Bingley has given me more credit than can be." I started, wanting to roll my eyes again. "The wisest and the best of men—nay, the wisest and best of their actions—may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke."  
I hope I am not a joke to Elizabeth. If that is so, I would cry. I mean I would be very heartbroken.

"Certainly," replied Elizabeth, "there are such people, but I hope I am not one of them. I hope I never ridicule what is wise and good. Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies, do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can. But these, I suppose, are precisely what you are without." Of course, I am without nonsense! How can a gentleman of good breeding, wealth and fame conduct himself in such a way that could be laughed by others? I own Derbyshire, I earn ten thousand pounds a year, I can marry any woman of the ton I want. I would never degrade myself to be a laughing stock.

"Perhaps that is not possible for anyone. But it has been the study of my life to avoid those weaknesses which often expose a strong understanding to ridicule." Yes, now you know my secret weakness, Elizabeth. It is to hide weaknesses which might pose as an amusement to anyone.

"Such as vanity and pride."

"Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed. But pride, where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation." I am not vain, I dare say. Perhaps proud sometimes, but could you blame me? Do I not deserve some pride for having survived through my parents' death and the Ramsgate incident? Do I not deserve some pride for having escaped from the clutches of matchmaking mothers and scheming single women? Do I not deserve some pride for having suppressed my overwhelming emotions towards Elizabeth so well? Elizabeth did not comment on my reply and turned away, though I could see to hide a small smile. Pray, what could she be laughing at me about? Does she always have to find something ridiculous about me?

"Your examination of Mr Darcy is over, I presume and pray what is the result?"  
Caroline butted into the conversation once there was a pause. Elizabeth told her that I have no defects for them to laugh at.

"No, I have made no such pretension. I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding—certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever." I said quickly, for it was unheard of to have no faults at all. If I did not admit to something, Elizabeth might examine my character more thoroughly to pronounce some part of me as a glaring inconsistency. Luckily, I chose well. Elizabeth pronounced with some surprise and resignation that my fault is safe from her laughing.

"There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil—a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome."

"And _your_ defect is to hate everybody." Nay, how could you say that of me? I certainly do not hate everybody! I only hate crowds and noise and balls, that is all.

"And yours is willfully to misunderstand them," I said with a sad smile. So this is how Elizabeth thinks of me? Forget it, remember how unsuitable a match she is…

"Do let us have a little music. Louisa, you will not mind my waking Mr Hurst?"  
Caroline spoke up as Elizabeth and I delved into deep thought. Louisa certainly had no objection and music soon wafted into the air. Yet it did not dissipate my gloominess.

Perhaps I should stop paying Elizabeth so much attention, it seems to be backfiring on me. Instead of gaining her approval or likes, I seem to be always at odds with her whenever we speak. It might be a good idea to just keep my mouth shut for now and see what fate brings for the both of us.

 **A/N: Thank you for everyone who provided constructive feedback. I already mentioned that I am new to the Regency era, especially the language used, so I would appreciate if y'all can bear this in mind when reading my stories. I am in the process of editing my previous chapters based on the reviews given, so please be patient thanks!**


	12. Chapter 12

The next day, in the breakfast-parlour, Miss Bennet requested for Bingley's carriage to return to Longbourn that morning. Are they to be leaving already? Pray, a week has yet to pass and I have already grown accustomed to the presence of the Bennet sisters! Bingley has never been so pleased with himself. On the other hand, Caroline has never had such a black face for so long before. She has also been increasingly malicious in her verbal attacks, I do wish for it to stop. Yet I cannot bear for Elizabeth to go. Nay, she _has_ to go. Her presence is a mere distraction to me.

"Miss Bennet, are you sure you are fully recovered to leave Netherfield? It might be better for you to rest here for a few more days just in case..." Bingley expressed his concern and reluctance upon his angel's request.

"I agree with Charles. Miss Bennet, I _implore_ you to stay till the morrow at least. It would be dreadful if you were to faint on the way back home, would it not? If you do miss your family so dearly, we can lend the carriage to you and Miss Eliza Bennet after morning service. Pray, say you would stay a little longer in our company?" Caroline, the ever considerate host, said zealously. Exchanging a few words with Elizabeth, Miss Bennet accepted the offer and thanked Caroline profusely.

"Only until the following day, Miss Bennet? It might not be safe for you to leave your bed yet, I am afraid you are not fully recovered..." Bingley tries to prolong the delay even further. I hope Bingley succeeds! Damn it, Darcy!

Despite Bingley's repeated attempts of persuasion, Miss Bennet kindly but firmly rejected him and pronounced that she and Elizabeth shall leave on Sunday. Bingley deflated in his seat and I squirmed, not knowing what to make of my emotions again. Louisa aided in seconding her brother, after all, I would not be surprised if she enjoys Miss Bennet's company much better while Caroline's pointed glares at them were ignored.

To be glad or not to be? Undoubtedly, Elizabeth has been at Netherfield for _too_ long, much longer than I have prepared myself for. I cannot stop reminiscing fondly about our "arguments" and I dare say I am extremely unwilling for them to disappear with her. However, Caroline has been in such a disagreeable temper since Elizabeth joined our party. I cannot deny knowing the reason for her jealousy and as much as I enjoy Elizabeth's company, Caroline will only rebuke her and her family the longer she remains in Netherfield. Perhaps it is for the best. Letting her go will be the best option. Who knows if she feels the same way? And who knows if Miss Bennet favours Bingley as much as he does for her?

There is too much uncertainty. We have only just been introduced to the Bennet family not long ago and who knows what their characters are like? From what I have witnessed and heard, Mrs Bennet is rather mercenary and wishes for Miss Bennet to be more forward in her advances towards Bingley. I did not eavesdrop on her, I just happened to be in the vicinity, close enough to hear her exclamations. Fortunately enough, Miss Bennet does not resort to flattery or flirtation to gain Bingley's affection but does she _actually_ like Bingley? Could there be a lovesick girl under that shy, kind face of constant smiles? I have yet to observe enough affection on _her_ side to reassure Bingley that his feelings are mutual and I am not optimistic that it is as such.

I had heard one day, touring around Meryton with Bingley, that Longbourn was to be inherited by a distant male cousin when Mr Bennet passes on. That can be a very convincing motive for Miss Bennet to charm Bingley and claim Netherfield, I dare say. Enough about Miss Bennet and Bingley. I have only been trying and failing to blind myself from my own predicament. My doubts about Miss Bennet's intentions applies to Elizabeth as well. What could be her motive for flirting with me? Nay, I cannot and shall not allow myself to believe that she is pining for my ten thousand pounds a year and being Mistress of Pemberley. Nay, she _cannot_ be such a person, I am sure of it.

But what if she is? Damn, my thoughts are chasing my mind in circles. To prevent any preconceived notions made of _any_ potential proposals, I must control my behaviour from now on and ensure that no sign of admiration towards Elizabeth must be shown. Her presence certainly brings me joy, but I have yet to discern her character enough. I must not give her any false hope to expect a proposal from me. Yes, that is what I shall do for the remaining of her stay here.

.~.

I did it! I did not expect it to be so hard, but I managed to do abide by my restrictions after all. Today, I barely spoke to her at all, except for the greetings I am obliged to make. The most excuriating part was when Elizabeth and I were stuck together in the library reading for half an hour! Nevertheless, I kept my eyes on my book and avoided all eye contact with her. Do you know how much willpower that took? I was dying to strike up a debate or even just a casual conversation about books, but it is unlike me to deviate from the plan. I am extremely proud of my achievement and alas, she will be leaving tomorrow morning! Then, I can finally relax and revert back to my original self.

.~.

Today is the day! Morning service went by in a breeze and Bingley's carriage was brought forth soon after. Miss Bennet entered first after hugs and promises to visit again from Caroline. Bingley could only shake hands with her and as he helped her into the carriage, they shared a look that meant the world to them. Caroline was thankfully civil to Elizabeth, albeit this being the only time during her whole stay. She shook hands with Elizabeth and wished her family well. Elizabeth bowed to both Bingley and I but she did not smile at me! Was she angry that I had ignored her the whole of yesterday? What should I do? To hell with it, this will be my encounter with her. I have nothing to lose! Thus, I gave her a longing look and squeezed her hand for the very last time. Farewell Elizabeth, I wish you and your family the best. I can hope that one day, I will meet someone like you.

 **A/N: I have edited my old chapters up to Chapter 5 so far, so please check them out if you want to read a more accurate version! Don't forget to review and follow if you enjoyed this chapter, thank you!**


	13. Chapter 13

Lord, save me! After Miss Bennet and Elizabeth had left Netherfield, I thoroughly felt the importance of their presence in our company. The evening conversation lost much of its animation and almost all of ts sense by the absence of the Bennet ladies. Caroline was undeniably happy that my only distraction is finally gone, allowing her to address all her raptures towards me. Bingley was more silent than usual and it is but too obvious why. I did not speak more than a few syllabuses either, only to appease Caroline's incessant probbing before disappointing her with my silence. Dinner was a rather solemn affair that night, I dare say.

After dinner, Bingley brought me up to his room for a private conversation.

"Darcy, can you imagine the reason of my brooding during dinner? I dare say, I have never been so quiet during the dinner before!" Bingley said as he poured me a glass of his secret brandy.

"Is that not the brandy which you denied Hurst the honour of tasting that day?" I could not help but stare in awe as Bingley opened his hidden drawer and returned the bottle to its original position.

"Indeed, Darcy. I was not up for sharing it with anyone at that moment, and I never intended of doing so at all, yet what I am about to discuss with you might require a bit of... consolation from a glass of good brandy, I suppose." Now, I am intrigued at what my friend wanted to say. I have never seen Bingley in such a disposition before. He is the type of person who never feels glum and sees the bright side of everything. I wonder what could be on his mind.

"You should have seen that both the Bennet sisters returned home this morning in the liveliest of spirits and I could not help but reflect on my behaviour that might have caused such felicity of removing from Netherfield. Did I do anything to offend Miss Bennet or her sister? Was I not courteous enough?" Bingley spoke of her woes at last and his expression was rather pained. Oh, Bingley! How could you think that you were not good enough to them?

"Nay, Bingley. You showed the utmost concern and devoted the utmost care to the ailing Miss Bennet during her stay, I must say. There was no action at all to which Miss Bennet could have found offense in."

"Then why were they so happy to leave our company? I thought Miss Bennet was in good hands here... The nurses and my sisters were all so attentive to her, were they not?"

"Bingley, stop overthinking this. They were happy to go back home, not to leave Netherfield. They must have missed their sisters and parents very much after being away for so long, I dare say."

"Oh! That makes a lot more sense now that you have explained it to me in a different light. Yes, that must have been the reason of their joy this morning. Thank you so much, Darcy!"

I almost rolled my eyes. Bingley is the only person who does not realise how kind-hearted he is. But to think that he was worrying about what Miss Bennet thought about him the whole dinner? Is that not a bit obsessive? Bingley's eyes looked rather glazed now, as if blinded by a layer of infatuation. Indeed, this situation is more dire than I had expected. I shall give Bingley a few days or so and perhaps he might soon get over Miss Bennet, like how he always does the last few times.

.~.

I miss Elizabeth.

Did I say that loud? Oh, thank goodness, I did not. Caroline will grill me to no end if she heard that.

I meant that I miss her voice. That impertinent tone of hers never fails to crack me up.

Without her engaging me in another one of her discussions, I feel like my mind is rotting. Yes, because I am hearing nothing sensible all-day. Caroline's chatter obviously does not count. And I did not even bother bringing up conversational topics with her. Knowing her dislike for reading, she could not possibly be able to debate with me for long. How boring. Is this how I am going to spend the rest of my evenings here in Netherfield? It is too late, but now I see Miss Bennet catching a cold in the rain a blessing in disguise indeed. The short-lived stay of the two sisters gave Bingley and I a taste of our potential future should we pursue them.

What am I saying! Nay, nay, nay, no one is thinking of courting them at all. Neither Bingley nor I. Yes, we are headstrong bachelors who will never condescend upon these country maidens. Yes, Elizabeth was just a source of entertainment, nothing more than that. I did not desire to court her and will never think of doing such. How could I destroy the reputation of the Darcy name? Remember that, Darcy.

"Darcy, I am planning to call on Longbourn later to inquire after Jane to make sure that she has fully recovered. Would you like to come along?" Bingley asked from outside the door as I got dressed.

What was I telling myself just now? Something about my reputation? It holds no importance for now, to hell with it!

"I would be glad to follow you, Bingley. Are we to leave after breakfast?"

"Indeed, Darcy. Come down quickly when you are done so we can leave at the earliest time!"

I am not excited. Darcy, you are not excited. Why did you even agree to Bingley? Why are you even going to Longbourn for? Damn it, Darcy! I have no self discipline at all, save me. Get a grip on yourself, it will be alright. Everyone will think that I am just tagging along with Bingley, because that is what friends do, right? It will be safe, no one will be able to tell my preference for her.

After breakfast, Bingley and I rushed down to the stables and slapped on the reigns of our horses. I do not think we have ever rode so fast before. I must reward my dear horse afterwards. Before long, we were arriving at Meryton. It was then when my heart stopped.

Elizabeth is there! With all her noisy sisters and a few men, but nonetheless, it is her!

The ladies looked in our direction and with bated breath, we approached them directly.

"Miss Bennet, I cannot deny my relief at seeing you well enough to walk to Meryton! How have you been since leaving Netherfield? I was just on my way to Longbourn to ask after your health." Bingley made the usual civilies and addressed his prinicpal object. I bowed in confirmation and tried not to look at Elizabeth in the eyes. Who knows if her sisters will spread some rumours around? I could not risk it, though I desperately wanted to admire her fine eyes again.

I turned my head to one side and suddenly, noticed the presence of the strangers present in the party. Wickham! Is that really him? How could he be here in Meryton? Nay, my worst fears have come true!

Of course, he had the good grace to turn pale. After recollecting himself, he touched his hat in saluation, one that I was _never_ going to return. This disgusting son of the gun does not deserve _my_ acknowledgement! In a instant, I pulled my horse in the other direction and rode off with Bingley struggling to catch up with me.

"Darcy, slow down! Darcy, what is the matter? Are we not to spend the afternoon with the Bennets? They were just about to introduce to us the other members of their party!" I heard Bingley shouting at me but it sounded very far away. I was seething with rage. I could not think properly until I reached Netherfield and excused myself immediately.

I hate Wickham. He must be here to ruin my life again. And now I have Elizabeth to worry about.

 **A/N: Don't forget to review and follow if you enjoyed this chapter, thank you!**


	14. Chapter 14

What about Wickham's intentions be? Why did he join the militia? Why is he back in my life to grieve me again?

My head was filled with Wickham for the next few days, yet I could not come up with a single motive to explain his becoming of an officer. The last time I saw him was during the Ramsgate incident, of course. After he had done _that_ to poor Georgie, the least I could do was to banish him and Miss Younge to a faraway location where I had hoped to never see this vile man again. Notwithstanding there were still the countless times I had to clear up the mess he made from gambling, drinking and womanising in the nearby town. At least he did not try to disturb us anymore, I tried to comfort myself. As long as I dealt with his debts, he would be content in his lowly life and we would be content living a _very_ happy life without him.

However, Wickham was the easy half of the problem. The harder part was my sister. That is why I hate Wickham as much as I did back then when I had exposed him. A man must have enjoyments in life, understandably. Who does not have vices? Drinking and gambling are common enough, I admit. But the point is that Wickham hurt my sister's fragile, vulnerable heart. He was always charming since young. I dare not say the same for myself, but his easy countenance attracted him to everyone. Perhaps I was too distant for Georgie? Unable to find a listening ear in me, she resorted to the next available person who was definitely more than willing to lend her his shoulder to cry on. Is this what betrayal feels like? When the person whom you thought was the closest to you actually felt the opposite...

Nay, I shall not dwell on past sorrows. What matters now is that I have changed. I know I was not there for Georgie when she needed me and I have been making repents in the present time. I try my best to be understanding and caring. Tending to her every need and fulfilling her every wish, yet I know that in some way, I still fall short of Wickham. I know I can never replace him. Wickham, always the good, smiling, friendly guy. Me, always the mean, frowning, rude guy. Some things never change...

Well, at least I can proudly say that all these hardships and conflicted emotions have yet to affect my image in the ton. Society still respects me as a wealthy gentleman with Derbyshire thankfully. My reputation to outsiders has yet to be tarnished by Wickham. Perhaps in status and name, I will always be better than him, but in smaller societies and closer acquaintances, I can never outshine Wickham. Perhaps... just perhaps, this contributes a little part of my hatred towards him. Not that I would ever admit it to anyone. It is far too embarrassing to base one's hatred on jealousy and such nonsensical behaviour would not suit my calm demeanour either. If need be, I shall just summarise the Ramsgate incident and there! It should be enough evidence to why I hate Wickham so strongly.

Days of deep contemplation and reflections passed and I cannot say that I have wasted my time. It has been raining since Friday and I have been denied from my pastime of walking in the shrubbery too long for my liking. Nature makes for a good companion when you are in want of silence. Caroline does _not_.

These few days, she has been complaining incessantly about the "abominable weather" and how it undeniably prevents her "friends" from coming to visit her. Upon my word, Caroline! Are you sure you have friends who would bother themselves to visit you? Anyone would turn mad eventually if they were stuck in a house with Caroline for days and days. Bingley's only consolation to us was the Netherfield Ball tomorrow. Pray, I am astonished to find that I am not entirely disagreeable to the idea of a ball! What have I become of? I attribute this sudden change to the constant torture of being trapped in the house for four days. I rather dance with the Bennet sisters than endure another day of rain!

At Bingley's reminder of the ball, the ladies started discussing about what they were going to wear. Such animation over such a dull topic! I marvel at how females can put in so much effort considering their outfit for a single event from the ribbons to the lace around the hems. I suppose I am too used to wearing similar outfits, being a gentleman. And I also have my trusty valet, who dresses for me, so I am spared from possible headache caused by the trouble of taking care of my appearance.

"Mr Darcy, I was just telling Louisa about the new dress I bought last week with you, do you remember?" Why must Caroline always include me in her conversations?

"Indeed. I dare say that the satin gown would suit your countenance very well." What dress was it? Hmm, I can only remember feeling the soft satin cloth against my fingers. The trip to Meryton seemed like an eternity ago.

"Why, Mr Darcy! I thank you for your kind words, but do you recall what colour it was?" Is this a game of memory? Caroline seemed serious though, so I shook my head.

"How could you forget it so quickly, Mr Darcy? It was a old rose silk taffeta and beige silk satin gown with cotton lining! You suggested for me to try on the dress and I am glad I had listened to your impeccable fashion taste. To think that a man could see and know the right dresses fit for another lady! Charles should take a lesson or two from you." Caroline beamed at me while Bingley blinked. I am starting to recall that day... Upon my word, I believe I had simply pointed out the nearest dress and counted down the minutes to which we can finally return to Netherfield! What impeccable fashion taste indeed!

At the start of last week, Bingley and I had ventured out to Meryton with his sisters for them to get new dresses for the Netherfield Ball. I was unwilling at first, in case I might meet Wickham again, but I knew that if I had the _luck_ to chance upon him again, I would make myself clear and use his debts to keep him in line. Yet, I was worried that I might see him with Elizabeth again... I do not believe myself capable of restraining the urge to punch him if I do witness the both of them enjoying each other's company again. It has nothing to do with Elizabeth, I repeat, it is not that I am jealous whatsoever. I am simply giving this son of a gun what he deserves and nothing less.

Thus, the whole trip had me in a bundle of nerves. I could not stop imagining scenarios and... forget it, I do not want to talk about my fears. I was so paranoid that I failed to register Caroline hooking her arm onto mine and dragging me into a clothes shop or Bingley waving goodbye to me with a knowing smile. By the time I had regained my senses, I was already stuck with Caroline during the whole shopping spree. I could not possibly leave her stranded here as much as I had wanted to. That was not something a gentleman should do. And what did a gentleman do to shorten the time spent with an unfavourable woman? He became very interested in dresses and gowns! I was recommending evening dresses for Caroline to try and gave her my _honest_ opinions when she came out to show me. Caroline was too pleased at my bombardment of compliments to her appearance in _every_ dress that she failed to realise I was saying almost the exact words every time.

"That dress matches your figure, Caroline."

"That gown suits your eyes perfectly."

"The lace lining looks wonderful on you."

I never had a knack for coming with nice things to say, but Caroline did not realise of course. She actually requested for almost all the dresses she tried, but they were all out of stock or already reserved for someone until we finally reached the last store where we found the rose-something-satin dress. I never heaved such a deep sigh before when the shop-owner presented Caroline with the dress she wanted. It was finally over!

As Caroline was making payments, I suddenly wondered where did Bingley and Louisa went in our absence. I cursed myself for not paying attention to their conversation and quickly asked Caroline when she was ready to leave.

"Charles and Louisa said they wanted to call on Jane Bennet at Longbourn. I suppose they are still there now." Caroline rolled her eyes. Longbourn! This is complete blasphemy! Why can Bingley go to Longbourn while I am here shopping with Caroline? How could he abandon me like that?

"Let them frolic with the Bennets, Mr Darcy. We shall not deign ourselves by tolerating _their_ country manners. Let us continue walking around to see if there is anything else to buy." Nay, I much rather frolic with Elizabeth than continue shopping with you! But there was nothing I could do to object. I would rather sacrifice my freedom and joy to protect Elizabeth than succumb her to Caroline's attacks. With a heavy heart, I nodded and trudged along the streets of Meryton, all the while wishing that I was in Bingley's company instead.

 **A/N: Don't forget to review and follow if you enjoyed this chapter, thank you! Shout-outs to nanciellen, Gaskellian, liysyl, HarnGin, janashe, abujoe, mencia, luisamalpica, sudenmorssian, nikkistew2, mariantoinette1, junealice, fsykes02, dsnave, cuinwen, calmingbreez, bhq416, LoveMySofa, Hplcgirl, Deanna27, Cookie Sue and all the guests for supporting me one way or another, happy new year!**


	15. Chapter 15

hey guys, i'm back! y'all should know what school does to ur free time so i'm really sorry this is not another chapter. i know me trying so hard to write regency is kinda pathetic and i suck at it so...

i have decided to write another fanfic! but in today's world cus screw the past. it's called "don't judge a book by its cover" but if y'all got any suggestions for good titles, please feel free to share em with me. the characters would be the same of course. just that the plot line would be a little different heh. i feel much more confident writing in modern style so hopefully i would be motivated to update more frequently hehe.

thanks for all ur support so far! hope y'all will enjoy my new fanfic too!


End file.
